I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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