dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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