do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence