You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited