im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she looked like the before picture.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.