In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...