I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed