dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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