if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
