Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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