Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize