Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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