I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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