never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
stop calling my apartment porn island.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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