My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
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I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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