so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize