you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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