Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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(574): pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face. http://tfl.nu/q45o

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(310): View more from California

I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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(310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn

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(312): View more from Illinois

Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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(312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng

Replies (19) Good night (7946) Bad night (706)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

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(508): I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car. http://tfl.nu/9e5w

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(256): View more from Alabama

Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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(256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

(347): View more from New York

Something to remember me by.

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(832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5

Replies (6) Good night (2478) Bad night (1783)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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(828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit

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(901): He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit http://tfl.nu/0txt

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(740): View more from Ohio

He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.

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(740): He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker. http://tfl.nu/ldq8

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(315): View more from New York

hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.

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(315): hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time. http://tfl.nu/7nlf

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(708): View more from Illinois

Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.

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(708): Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life. http://tfl.nu/mhw6

Replies (14) Good night (2362) Bad night (622)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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(403): We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/dgmw

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(614): View more from Ohio

My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah

(772): View more from Florida

I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.

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(614): My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah (772): I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade. http://tfl.nu/tvrh

Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (514)
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(480): View more from Arizona

So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.

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(480): So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely. http://tfl.nu/qe4o

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(434): View more from Virginia

do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

(540): View more from Virginia

yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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(434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (253)

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