At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.