May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table