Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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