i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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