i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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