we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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