dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck