I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you would pick up someone in the library
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
