I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
