Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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