In the future we'll all be gay
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize