Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
