Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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