hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
