you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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