Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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