If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My underwear smells like fireworks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
