I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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