Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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