Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize