I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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