so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize