Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.