I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.