so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
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captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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