how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
