i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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