Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize