i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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