If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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