she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
