if you like me you must not know who I am
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me