Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.