I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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