I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
