I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Damn victory sex feels great
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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