I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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