And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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