My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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