I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
