Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
