I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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